New Job...

I am not sure if I made the right choice to change job any more. It seems the new job is more stressful and confuse than my previous job. At this moment, I am actively applying for other jobs and hoping I can move on. I envy those whom love and enjoy their job. It definitely makes life a lot more cheerful because we spend most of the day at the workplace. However, I am grateful to have a job especially when there are layoffs from left and right.

Quote of the day: A job is a job, no matter you like it or not.

A bit confused and lost...

I am a bit confused and lost at this point of time. I am still struggling through tough times. The process is long and painful. Hopefully, things will get better as time goes by. I am not sure how far I can go with this but I will definitely overcome it one way or the other. I have to. It's hard for others to understand my situation. Hence, I barely let anyone know. I don't want to add stress to any of my friends. As for my new job, I am still getting use to it. It's a brand new challenge. Will I succeed at the end? Will I like it more? Only time will tell. I look it as an opertunity to learn and grow in my career. I wish one day I will be working in the field I really like and want. Until that day comes, I will have to work on what I can get at the moment.

Quote of the day: Remember your name. Do not lose hope ---what you seek will be found.

Tough Day for me!

This is the first year to go by w/o him. Originally, I thought it isn't that bad but when the day actually comes, I can feel how tough it is. That's also why I went by to visit him on Friday and again on Saturday. I really miss him at this very moment. I mean we have our ins and outs from time to time but we are family! I finally realized the true feeling of missing someone close to me. It's something I have to live for life. I know it's time for me to get back up from where I fallen. On a happier side of things, I will be switching job very soon. Hope the new job will give me new life, hope and opportunities to grow in my career. However, I will face it with a normal expectation. Life still have to goes on even when shit falls apart in life. That is the beauty of life. It never stops until you're at the end. I wish all the soon-to-be father, father, grandfather a very happy Father's day! May all of you bless w/ endless joy and health!

Quote of the day: Cherish the people around you because you never know what will happen to them next!

Stuck!

The more I think about it, the more I feel I'm stuck and getting nowhere. It seems that I'm drifting apart from everyone I know gradually. I don't remember when I started to become isolated. After what happened in the past several months, I realized that I need to move on with life. Quick recap of my so call life at this point.

Work Life: It have been a somewhat hostile environment. It's like walking in egg shells. Maybe I should word it like a time bomb, which is waiting to be explode. When it does, someone will be blame for. It's really an unhealthy place to work at. Hope by end of the month, I wouldn't be there anymore.

Social Life: I know I really need to work on this section a whole lot given what I have been through since my birthday. :( It isn't easy and I am forcing myself from day to day.

Quote of the day: I can't describe what I'm feeling, I'm not happy, and I know that. But I'm also not exactly sad either. I'm just caught right in between all these emotions and I feel so empty.

Lost in this dark moment...

I haven't been sleeping well in the past few months. Hence, I am up at this hour and writing this post. I have been forcing myself to move on from this dark moment of my life. It's seems that I'm stuck at this moment. I'm not sure when I can get out of this dark moment. Hopefully I can get myself back up in 100% fast. Please wish me luck if you are reading this post.

Quote of the day: The deeper I think, the deeper I seem to sink.

Darkness moment in life?

I am not sure if this is the darkness moment of my life but it surely feels like that way. Life is not the same after the tragic event happened. I can't really operate as if everything is normal. From falling to sleep to concentrating at work and anything in life. It got me thinking about life. My mind seems to repeatedly asking endless questions like what's really important in life? Where am I heading to from this point forward? Goals? I know life still have to go on, which is what I have been telling myself lately. It's hard for me to focus on anything. I understand it will take time for me to get through this but how long will it take? 

Quote of the day: It's like I have this large black hole in my brain and it's sucking the life out of me. The answers are in there so I sit for hours and stare. No matter how hard and long I look, I only see darkness.